Week 6 Discussion Jokes

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Post by Admin on Thu Feb 14, 2019 9:34 am

Jokes or funny stories.
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Post by Virginie GAUDRIAUD on Thu Feb 14, 2019 10:40 am

Three men, an Italian, a French and a Spanish went for a job interview in England. Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow. The Italian was first:
“I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I think to myself, I hope it will be a pink day.”

The Spanish was next:
“I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV.”

Last was the French:
“I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone “green…green…”, I pink up the phone and I say “Yellow ?…”

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Post by Maria Caulot on Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:08 am

This is the story of two boys bathing. The first says to the other:
- I have good news and bad news.
- Start with the right one, the other boy answers.
- The good news is that according to the thermometer, the water has just warmed by two degrees.
- And what is the bad news?
- It's not because of the sun ...

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Post by Gaspard Pouzin on Sun Feb 17, 2019 12:19 am

The Queen of England travels to London by carriage with an important African character.
It’s when the horse blow! The queen is confused
"It’s the first time, I’m confused. I assure you, excuse me ..."
the high African character responds to him
"But I thought it was the horse!"

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Post by Julien DAVID on Mon Feb 18, 2019 4:31 pm

Two old English people play golf.
On the next road comes a funeral procession.
The first Englishman stops playing, removes his cap, while the funeral procession passes.
"Ah!" Said the other, "What civism! I never imagined that a player like you would find himself on the way to a funeral!
- That's to say, we were married for 40 years. "

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Post by victor bouveret on Tue Feb 19, 2019 12:34 pm

Madam is on her death bed.
Her husband colonel asks her the question that burns her tongue for thirty years:
- Have you cheated on me?
In a soft voice she answers:
- Yes. Yes my love. But only twice.
- Two times! No more! My God, and me who thought you spent your time in the bed of others. Forgive me these frightful thoughts. With whom ?
- With whom ? Once with your general ...
- Oh! The bastard.
- And once with your regiment ...

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Post by PELLADEAUD Kilian on Wed Feb 20, 2019 6:07 pm

A young French student is sent by his parents to spend a month in an English family. Lord Cunningam, take him around the property.
"Is this a golf course you have there?" said the French. "Wonderful! You play often?"
"No, I tried once? I didn’t like it. Too tiring."
Then they see two superb horses in a pen.
"Ah?" said the French. "You are riding!"
"No? I tried once? I didn’t like it. Too tired..."
The tour continues, and they’re following a tennis court.
"And I guess…"
"No, no," said the Englishman. "I tried once?" but I didn’t like it. "Too tiring." At that point, a young man walks up to them.
"Ah, my young friend, this is my son, Wiliam Cunningam.
The Frenchman shakes his hand and then turns to the Lord:
- Single Son, I presume…

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Post by Julien Causeur on Wed Feb 20, 2019 8:22 pm

A group of handicapped travelers take the bus and sing:

"Driver, if you are a champion, press! Press! Driver, if you are a champion, press the mushroom!"
The driver, reluctant at first, decides to accelerate.

The handicapped begin to sing again. To calm them, he presses a good blow on the accelerator. The drama is coming, the bus falls into a ditch.

The handicapped, safely, see the state of the driver and start singing:

“He is one of us … He does not walk any more like the others”

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Post by Tom Régnier on Wed Feb 20, 2019 8:55 pm

What’s the different between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

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Post by moreau julien on Wed Feb 20, 2019 9:20 pm

"Brian, do you think I'm a bad mother?
- Well, my name is Paul"

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Post by Lucas NEAU on Wed Feb 20, 2019 9:49 pm

"- He used to take his dog to school every day, but he finally had to stop.
- How come?
- The dog got graduated

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Post by Naomi ARSIVAUD on Wed Feb 20, 2019 10:52 pm

How do you cut the ocean in half?

With a see-saw

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Post by Corentin FAITY on Fri Mar 01, 2019 11:51 am

What’s the difference between a taxi and PSG?
The taxi takes no more than four at once.

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Post by Lucie LEFEVRE on Sat Mar 23, 2019 3:20 pm

What does a Chinese listen to music with?
A nemP3

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Post by Melissa Gherras on Sun Mar 24, 2019 10:28 am

-I lost 3kilos

-Have you cleared your makeup

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