Thoughts on "The Happy Thread"

[Admin]

I love the "Happy thread" but thought I'd bring up a question on it in a new thread so as not to change the great vibe on there.

My question is simple:

Is it representative of our NEED to be liked and is this need growing in the modern world?

Whilst I admit a personal pleasure in being liked I think I've accepted that striving for it is problematic and I've found my place in the world where I can accept not being liked (obviously outside of a very select few people like my wife) without a problem.

Friends, Family, the quest to be liked can be very stressful for many people and lead to the opposite of the desired results.

Do we put too much importnace on being liked? Isn't it counter to just being ourselves?

what do you think?

[Victor Chevalier]

Hi! this subject is very interesting and it's true. The need to be liked, this problem is with the subject is the overthinking. For me, say "i don't care", by moment is more simply, always striving about to be liked is very stressful.

[Clarance de Villiers]

Interesting subject indeed, as I think we’re all concerned in some extent. I think it comes from our level of confidence. People with low self-confidence seek the approval of others, the more people like them, the better they feel. By looking to be appreciated by everyone, they don’t seize the opportunity/take the time to build strong relationships with fewer people. But in our fast moving society, where we often meet people for only a short period of time, they quickly become alone. So, they want to be liked by everyone again, it’s an amplifying loop. In addition, people like this can be really needy, so it’s difficult to be friend with them. As you said John, it can lead to the opposite result.

We have to work on ourselves, to know our self-value. I think it’s something that become easier as we grow older, maybe because we learn to let things go too.

We can also tackle the subject with a social media perspective. To be continued…

[Manon Saroul]

Such an interesting subject John!

And effectively, we are all concern about it!

I really think that people are not made to be single and that loneliness is a real scourge in our society despite the fact that we are more and more connected (I think there is a real perverse effect in it, and that this ultra-connection is actually an ultra-disconnection). I am pretty sure that our attraction for instagram and social media is really linked to this need of being liked.

But, do we seek like of others because we do not like ourselves enough? There is a big link there, that we still learn during our different relationship I think. Indeed, sometimes, what we expect from others was not what we would like to be able to give ?

Many times, I heard relatives saying that to love the other you must already love yourself. I totally agree with it but I had something to had : I think that we can like someone even if we do not like ourselves but not in "the good way". Too many relationships become unhealthy and because of it. Once, someone said to me "Until you feel complete, accept yourself as you are and love yourself, you will not be able to find a complete and healthy partner." Now, I understand the impact of these words.

If we seek like that we miss for ourselves, I think that is a fight lost in advance. Sometimes, you can believe that you are like as you want, but sorry, I think it only last for a while. After that, you feel broken and empty again, and you believe that all has to be rebuild. So, it is really important to build a true self-love because you agree, making your happiness depend on an external person is dangerous?

Feel free to communicate about this subject with me and to share your proper opinion, I am really interested about !

See U

[Babis Papageorgiou]

Hi everyone!

Nice topic John, it’s interesting because I find a connexion in two of the subjects that we are already discussed in the class, the need of super Heroes nowadays which is related metaphorically with the modern idols and of course the self-confidence topic.

I agree with you Clarance and Manon.
It’s a ‘self-work’ thing that everyone has to work. We should start by learning and loving ourselves.
It’s extremely difficult because the influence of the ‘perfect personas’ in a completely-connected world are huge.
We are distracted by the world of media and we finally forget who we are.
A big consequence to this problem is that we build an image of our self’s based in things that we maybe don’t like, becoming conformists, just because of the censorship/ censoring or maybe of fashion.

The pursuit of happiness is always connected to this subject.
We are in a continuously hunting the happiness that the society created but we’ll never touch.
That brings a lot of sadness and maybe some cases of depression.

It’s too large this topic that I’m a bit lost. Maybe we can focus in one or two aspects.

Have a nice holiday!

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