Auto work: an even "litller" story (Badr)

He was sad, angry and scared, he didn’t know why, but it was as if something really bad happened, so he tried to remember the reason, but the harder he tried the more the memory faded away. still, it wasn’t all for nothing, the irrationality of all of this made him realize that he just woke up, then that he was having a bad dream, one he can’t remember, but one he knows was bad, a feeling of relief came soon after he came back to reality, it put him in a state of happiness.

Dean stayed in bed and got lost in his thoughts, unintentionally processing this recurring experience, he realized that even though, he was  overwhelmed by the source-less feelings of sadness and anger after waking up from the nightmare, the realization that none of it was real and the relief that came afterwards was very pleasant, it’s a something that he wouldn’t have felt if it wasn’t for that nightmare, his own thought surprised him, it awakened his curiosity and made him want to go deeper, so that’s exactly what he did, Dean shut down his eyes and wandered in his own mind and memories, asking questions and looking for answers. For the sake of comparison, Dean tried to remember the times he had good dreams, or what he felt after waking up from one to be precise, he remembers waking up happy and satisfied by what happened, he couldn’t remember what made him feel this way those times either, but he remembers that like the post nightmare feelings, those ones didn’t last long, they went away the moment he realized that it was all just a dream, but what came after was not pleasant, far from that, the realization that none of what made him happy was real, caused him great disappointment, it put him in a state of sadness.

Dean came to the weird and unpopular realization that he’d rather have nightmares than pleasant dreams, this thought made him more skeptical about what he wants from life itself, it made him see the expression “living the dream” under a new light, “what’s better?” he asked himself “living the dream or living a nightmare?”, this question weirdly made sense to him. “well, it depends” answered the voice that turns his thoughts into words “you always get both, it depends on which one comes first and which one lasts longer.”

Dean took out his notebook and wrote: “living the dream, and never having to wake up”