S2 - GROUP 1 - Joke

Tell me a joke !

"-I was born in Paris.
-Oh nice ! Which part ?
- All of me"

"two potatoes cross a road, one gets run over. The other looks and says, "oh, mashed potatoes.""

And people say my jokes are bad!

A goth enters a hairdresser's salon and sits next to a nun, a very pretty nun! He says to her (in a big pervert voice): "Hey, pretty nun, do you want to have sex with me? The nun grunts, feels offended, and leaves. The hairdresser (man) moves closer to the goth's ears and says: "Bro ! You can't have the nun like that ! Listen to me carefully ! First, you must dress as God ! Then you have to go to the cemetery at 00:00. Only then can you do what you want with the nun !" The goth: "Oh thanks man !"

After his visit to the hairdresser’s, the goth dresses up as God and goes to the cemetery at 00:00. He finds the nun praying.

The Goth approaches the nun and says, "Nun, I am GOD!

The nun: "Oh my God! Oh my God! I will do what you want!"

The goth : "Let's have sex!"

The nun: "Ok but from behind, because I want to stay a virgin."

After this discussion, the Goth and the nun have sex in the cemetery.

Then:

The goth throws off his God costume and says: "HAHA I'm the goth!".

And the nun throws off her nun's costume and says: "HAHA I AM THE HAIRDRESSER!"

-

PS : I am sorry for joke ... really ... I excuse me.

It was better than Marie's

Here are some good dark humor jokes (I couldn't decide) :

- "Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera".

- Watching my daughter at the park earlier. Another parent asked, “Which one is yours?” I replied, “I’m still deciding.”
They looked horrified.

- "What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."

What is yellow and when you press a button it turns red?
A chick in a blender

I don't know of any interesting and funny joke, instead I prefer to tell a funny story that happened to me, even if I didn't laugh too much at the time.
I was working in the summer in a crockery shop. Just before closing time at lunchtime, I wanted to take a case of dishes on special offer back to the entrance of the shop, and when I was about to put it down and bend down, the seam of my trousers cracked... but there were a lot of people in the shop, so I had to walk backwards to the storeroom to get my jacket and hide the hole that was in the wrong place.

Sorry but this topic is not for me... i know 2/3 jokes in French but to explain it in English... A nightmare! But, i will try!

What do you call a be that comes from America??
USB

HAHAHA LOL it was so..... funny (or not)

Being as it's St.Valentine's day:

My wife just phoned me to say that 3 girls in her office have received flowers and they are absolutely gorgeous.
I said, "Thats probably why."

A blind guy and a sighted man jump from the top of a building
Which one will touch the ground first ?

> The dog


What is red and very bad for the teeth ?

> a brick


A friend visiting my house "What's upstairs ?"
I said "Unfortunately, the stairs don't talk."

Why do scuba divers jump backwards out of the boat ?
>Because if they jumped forward, they'd still be in the boat.

Two cows are standing in a field. The first says to the second "have you heard about this mad cow disease? It make cows go crazy and then they die."
The second cow replies "good thing I'm a helicopter."

I'm sorry but I don't have any joke come to mind. I'm terrible at this kind of thing, I prefer to make jokes at the time. However, it's not for lack of having been raise by the best in this field: my father who loves to make jokes (not very funny), a gift that he passed on to my sister. So, I asked my father who couldn't think of anything better than the following joke:
"You want a killer joke? (I’m not sure for the translation)
- ....
- pan"
(I disclaim any responsibility for this lame joke, I really didn't know what to say)

I'm not very good in joke so I'm sorry in advance...

What is the ultimate for a geography teacher ? Is to lose the north

Lacombe Pauline wrote:I'm sorry but I don't have any joke come to mind. I'm terrible at this kind of thing, I prefer to make jokes at the time. However, it's not for lack of having been raise by the best in this field: my father who loves to make jokes (not very funny), a gift that he passed on to my sister. So, I asked my father who couldn't think of anything better than the following joke:
"You want a killer joke? (I’m not sure for the translation)
- ....
- pan"
(I disclaim any responsibility for this lame joke, I really didn't know what to say)

I have no idea what this is, but you tried which is the important thing. Joke telling is difficult in your own language and super difficult in another.

Amandine. G wrote:I'm not very good in joke so I'm sorry in advance...

What is the ultimate for a geography teacher ? Is to lose the north

This must be an untranslatable joke (or I don't understand it ).

My life is a joke just kidding (or not)

I'm not really inspired I only have this one:


What is the favorite letter of English people ?

The letter T.

Be careful this joke is very funny, thanks Dad ...

How do we call a dog without legs ?

We don't call him, we go get him !

What's worse than a baby in a trash can ?

Spoiler:

cdelage11 wrote:Be careful this joke is very funny, thanks Dad ...

How do we call a dog without legs ?

We don't call him, we go get him !

So Dad like, how about...

What do you call a blind Stag?

No Idea.

It's Gilbert Montagné who walks into a bar, then into a chair, then into a table...